I haven’t really had the energy to write on this blog until now. The exhaustion really sets in – and I just want to say, thank you to EVERYONE who commented and emailed their help re: my situation with Loki. The last two weeks of grad school are here, which means I’ve been writing papers, studying for exams, and generally curled up in my bed and wishing it’s all over soon.
My practice has been at a standstill, for which I feel very guilty for, and I was “stuck” personally for the past few weeks. I’ve been dealing with a lot of pain and inner turmoil, but these past couple of days I’ve been able to breathe again, and the divination that I finally commissioned came at the right time.
I chose the divination services of a very well-prepared and skilled diviner who 1) did not know me personally, and 2) whose practice and divination skills were NOT in any way, shape, or form connected to the Norse. Sannion offers perhaps one of the best divination services I have received in a long time; I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend his services! He replied with the reading mere hours after my query; the reading was well-done, clear, detailed yet concise, and it had very specific details that he could not have known… unless the messages came from the gods themselves.
So it seems that Loki is here, and very much so. It was also made clear to me that the terrifying Face I saw was, in fact, what He showed me. He has an assignment for me – an extended assignment, it seems. Not much is written about His Ironwood family, or about His agonizing mourning or suffering. It seems that He wants me to get to know the truly dark, painful, stunningly agonizing sides of Him – and to write about His relationship with Angrbodha as well as His children with Her. He also wants me to create shinies for Him, as apparently I have caught His attention by the jewelry I’ve been making. I have a particular devotional intent for Powers who are misrepresented, ignored/neglected, or who only have a particular side shown to Them to the point that it seems that that one Face is the only that exists. It’s not only a Work He would like for me to undertake to be able to explore the darker mysteries of a broken and mourning Loki, but it’s also a Work that will most likely change me permanently – of that, I am sure.
And it is very strange, this Household. Frigg, Tyr, Loki, and Angrbodha all have interconnected histories, sometimes in total opposition. I wonder how this is going to work, but if Everyone has chosen on Their free will to be here, then I suppose that, somehow, it will.
As for Tyr, it’s been patted on my head that my experiences of Him are not my own creation – and that I should trust myself more around Him. It will be very difficult to enjoy this side of Him that is not “traditionally known.” Tyr has a VERY solidified character in tradition and mainstream Norse-religion culture. And I know that it will also be very rewarding, because what He asks of me is something that I am more than happy to give. I have a feeling that Tyr will be a permanent Person in my life, intimately so, but He has chuckled and told me not to rush into oaths (which is something I have heard before from Him), but simply to allow the relationship to develop and to take care to focus on who He is, and not on what others say of Him. His lessons are great, too; I am thinking of His courage, steadfastness, and oath to follow code every time I am faced with a decision. Thinking rightly, acting rightly… I am understanding, very slowly, the importance of one’s word – the binding nature of one’s word – what it truly means to be a woman of her word.
Now I can move forward. Now I know where to go.
I know that They always, always, answer. Let’s see how this goes.