Frigg, Angrbodha, Tyr… and now Loki?

(If there’s anyone who works closely with Loki who would be willing to do a confirmation reading, whether for a rate or a reading exchange, please message me at wyrdworkings@gmail.com).

I haven’t really been posting substantially on my blog – I’ve been in a deep, dark place. Dealing with severe anxiety, hypervigilance, and depression is not easy, and it’s a constant fight when it negatively affects someone with naturally low energy. I am grateful that the Powers in my life understand and are patient with me, especially when I am not patient or understanding with myself. I am often disgusted, disappointed, dissecting of myself to the point where I realize that it borders on pure ridicule. Sometimes I wonder how the gods could possibly want to work with someone like me. On top of all of this, suffering depression makes me doubt myself and my Seering in ways that are absolutely damning – yet, every single time, the gods bring me back to seeing that, yes, my Perceptions are up and working just fine.

And then I’ve been feeling Someone walking around. Just a breath, a sigh, a single sniff of Someone’s scent – no real indication, but I knew that there was a deity hanging about. I consulted the runes under Frigg’s supervision and it turns out that it’s… Loki? It was strange, because one of my best friends had suggested, for absolutely no reason, that it was Loki. Then another friend verified that it was Loki who was around me.

I’m stumped because, well, I haven’t had ANY experiential indication that it was Him. The only reasons why I am even entertaining the truthfulness of His presence are the readings under Frigg’s guidance, my friend’s instant mention of Him, and then the clarification from a friend whose Perception I trust. Yet, it is still not enough.

Something about Him really frightens me. I saw Him with trails of bright scarlet hair and devious, highly intelligent eyes. He’s tall and lanky, irreverent, full of wonderful jokes – a fire of life and laughter. But there’s a darkness I feel that’s bloodthirsty and almost maliciously curved. I feel like I should never trust Him like I do with Cernunnos or Frigg; I feel that, for whatever reason, He is slightly deranged before me. Slightly cracked. He wouldn’t mind watching the world burn. (Not to mention, the dynamic here between Frigg and Angrbodha is actually quite peaceful, but having Frigg AND Angrbodha AND Loki here would be really strange considering Their histories).

I wouldn’t be surprised if Loki wanted to help me with my intense need to have absolutely everything under my control… including a self who is unable to relinquish control – a self who is perfectly tempered for others because, for years under severe abuse, I had to learn how to respond perfectly to demands, to watch cues, to act exactly as I was supposed to, because punishment truly was the end of the world.

I still don’t know if Loki is here. I’m confused, angry, and scared that He is here. Perhaps it’s because of what He’ll mean in my life – and perhaps it’s because of what He doesn’t mean, and I don’t like being toyed with for anyone’s personal enjoyment. I’ve always said that Loki and I would never get along and, yet, He seems to be here. I’ve asked Him to verify His identity in whatever way He desired – the only caveat is that it had to be proven, with the utmost of clarity, that it is Him and can be no one else but Him.

I don’t know what to do – I suppose just to wait and see what happens. If it’s Him, if it’s not Him. If He’s there, if it’s just in my head, or if He’s popped in to fuck with me. Meanwhile I’ve drummed out this poem for the Breaker of Worlds based on a conversation I’ve just had with Him. (I think).


Loki,

Your wicked smile makes me wary.
For all of my pranks and my mischief,
my humor and my patience,
I stand still before red hair and gleaming eyes
as fear cracks my spine.
Your mouth is full of teeth and You bear them
with a grin that comes straight out of a horror movie:
“Terrified girl,
there is nothing you can offer Me that I do not already have –
and yet I am here.
You are right to be frightened.”

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22 thoughts on “Frigg, Angrbodha, Tyr… and now Loki?”

      1. It could. I hardly ever get the creepy or the hard ass hard truth side of him though (usually him just going “dude this isn’t working for you is enough for me and if that doesn’t work he just manipulates the situation until I see it for myself) so I don’t have a lot of experience with how that vibe feels.

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      2. Yeah. I asked Him if the reason He wanted to start a working relationship with me was because I have Cuban coffee, and He sort of smirked and said, “That’s ONE reason.” With the emphasis of, “That’s the PRIMARY reason.” I couldn’t not laugh at that.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. lol he does also really love coffee. But there have been times where for some reason I was think about cinnamon and he literally popped up from no where like a gopher and wanted to know where the cinnamon was.

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  1. That could be the Wolf-Father, sure enough. It also could be a bunch of other things up to and including your own subconscious rearing its head. I don’t want to sound like I’m discounting your statement, rather I want to encourage the step back and hard thinking that you seem to be doing a bit on your own anyway. My advice to to specifically approach a less-dangerous side of him with the question. I remain convinced that this can in fact be done by focusing on specific by-names and stories over others. Or ask Angrboda. She would know.

    Loki showed up a few years ago and my life fell into a dozen different pieces. It sucked to go through it, but now that I’ve culled my herd, so to speak, I am much better. He’s not safe, make no mistake. But he’s also kind and wonderful and glorious in his own brilliant and broken way. He is rarely long separated from his family, so that may also be a clue worth watching for.

    Hope some of this helps.

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    1. As always, your thoughts are clear and wonderful. I really appreciate you (and everyone!) taking the time to write to me. I am definitely not trusting much (read: all) of what I perceive re: Loki until I get some definite proof. It may well all be in my head. And He is certainly not safe, but I know that He is wonderful. And if He is here in my home, it’s only because Cernunnos has allowed Him, and I trust His judgment implicitly.

      Do you have any diviners whose services you commission? If so, would you be able to recommend someone you trust?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. To be perfectly honest and at the risk of sounding supremely arrogant- I usually trust myself. I don’t generally advertise my services beyond card readings (which I have up on etsy, oddly enough) but I do have other forms of divination available to me. i might could do this thing for you.

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  2. (Disclaimer: this is purely my own experience with him, YMMV, etc.)

    Loki was the first deity I officially invited into my life, and it was only afterward that I learned that people are afraid of him. I also don’t get Super Scary Worldbreaker Loki, because I didn’t “expect” that–in fact I really HAD no expectations as to what he would be like. To me, he’s very kind and loving, loves to laugh, WILL troll me (especially for tests. I’ve lost count of how many times he’s tested me, but sometimes he does just troll me to, well, troll me), and likes to play tricks, usually harmless but sometimes annoying ones. Although if I ask him to stop, he will (provided it is actually him doing it in the first place).

    Also, IME he does love coffee A LOT, and cinnamon as well.

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    1. He is certainly beloved by many, and I see He does not restrain returns of such love! I’m happy you have such experiences with Him! 😀 I’ve had Him in my home, only once, and He tricked me into serving him the ENTIRE pot of Cuban coffee I made in offering for a reading done on behalf of someone else.

      Thank you for sharing!!

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  3. Oh goodness, this is how Loki found me, and this is definitely work that Loki Has always pushed me to do.
    You see, I am a person who has issues with relinquishing control, and yes, that is why He is working with me. Yes, He can be insistent and direct and oh so relentless. There is a darkness in Him, and He is a bit crazy, I will not dispute that. But His relentlessness does have an upside – Loki is also just as relentless in His patience and in His determination to see things through with those He is working with. He is a consummate problem solver, and a staunch ally. He certainly knows how to help others navigate the darkest places in their hearts and minds- sometimes in innovative ways that one would never expect. He can be your best ally in fighting inner demons because He’s seen it all and likely struggled and fought it all within Himself at one time or another…and thus, He is capable of immense gentleness with those who struggle with darkness.

    I know that He has been all these things for me.

    Just my .02

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    1. That sounds both wonderful and terrifying. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!! I am naturally wary of Loki, for some reason. It’s always been something I’ve thought about: that Loki and I would never REALLY get along. But we will see.

      Anyone you could recommend as a stellar diviner?

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  4. Loki come and goes for me. I don’t think he intended to scare you. He likes to play pranks and tease people of their weaknessess, but yes his pranks can irritate his people as well, when you least expected, but it’s nothing really harmful to your health. As for intense abuse, Loki understands as there was a lot of devotees who went through severe trauma and abuse, and he could manage to encourage to those who believe in him to pull themselves out of their darkness slowly and survive and seek recovery, and to those who are inspired by him undergoes a positive change.

    Some people were transformed by his love and friendship. Some end up marrying him. It really depends in how much space and room you’re willing to open up for him. He’s a good friend, and he likes to romance people.

    I think it doesn’t make much of a difference whether you divine yes or no and I’m saying this because I did a lot of tarot readings with Loki, and I found that hard, because there is no easy way to get answers, because even if you get a negative answer, Loki can turns negative answers into more positive ones.

    Don’t beat yourself up and beating the bush whether Loki is here or not. One moment he’s here, and the next moment, he popped out of your life. I found he doesn’t stay in one place, but he keeps wandering around a lot. or visit other people whom his company desires most If he’s here with me, he chatters a lot, and when he’s on the move, there is total silence for long weeks to months, and usually when he’s gone, I would rely on another spirit guide who is on duty.

    But yeah, Loki isn’t really one of my major deities and spirit guides, as he tends to go in and out of my life.

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  5. I emailed you w/a diviner recommendation. He’s helped a lot of people with abuse/trauma issues, as well as various kinds of “control” things. (Abuse history /stuff/ has been an ongoing project with Him in my life.) He can be extraordinarily frustrating at times ’cause He seems to like to teach by you figuring things out on your own (including at times when one most wants clear answers/support), but He can also be completely straightforward and clear at other times. And yeah, He can push things hard and in painful ways, but He can also be extremely supportive when people are dealing with really awful mental/emotional states (including when He’s mashed those buttons). I do know of people who have only experienced His harsher, less gentle ways of teaching/helping, so that does happen, but I’ve more commonly heard of mixed or more gentle approaches. One thing I appreciate about Him is that He’s almost never had a problem with me being very, very angry with His approaches to helping me (I adore Him immensely but /gods/ . . . ). LOL. One of the teaching methods He’s used with me, and I think I’ve heard of others experiencing this as well, is that sometimes His behavior is intended to reflect to you something about yourself more than it is meant to indicate something about Himself; mockery isn’t always meant to -just- mock or tease, for example. Good luck 🙂

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    1. Oh: Some advice I was given back when I was first dealing with Him was that if I was having problems figuring out wtf He was up to, to try praying to Angrboda (or Sigyn or Hela) for advice; since you’ve got a relationship with Her going, I thought I’d toss that out there. I’ve never actually done that, but He’s sent me to talk to Angrboda or Sigyn on a couple occasions when I was in no mood to listen to Him (because of something He was involved in).

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