For me, today is a day of the supremely greatest joy.
Two years ago, I met Cernunnos for the very first time – no doubts, no complications, simply a vulnerability and an ecstasy and a whole new beginning. Two years ago, I was a stumbling little fawn seeking something meaningful – not just that, but something calling me. It was when I heard the name Cernunnos spoken by a friend that something in me said, I know Him. I know Him. Hunt Him. Find Him. He is Yours.
Two years ago, He was many things: a deeply fond Father at first, a Guardian who stood watch. Cernunnos-The-God wrapped me in His arms as my Father, confusing me yet always comforting me and helping me forward in my very frightening (and mistaken-laid!) stumbling in baby paganism, trying to figure out what I believed and what the world was like. When I dedicated myself to Him, six months later, for something much deeper, He became something mysterious that didn’t speak – an animal in the dark, two black eyes glinting in the night from the bushes. Something that transformed, always rounding the border of my vision and perception, testing both the heart of my oath and the resilience of my person.
Two years ago, I had no idea who I was. I was buried under rubble, and dust, and the weight of everyone else. Two years ago I was a tiny little thing, a tiny mouse sniffing her way out of her burrow not knowing she was going to become something much, much greater – that she was going to see new worlds, that she was going to transform and to evolve into Herself. I grew into the frame of my Seership, of shapeshifting and finally opening my eyes to a world where the gods walked. And I realized that this world was the world that I had always seen and sensed – the Mystery behind the workings of the world, the ultimate revelation.
And two years ago, from the moment I met Him, I knew I wanted to marry Him because I knew that I had done it before – past lives welled up, welcoming Him into me and me into Him. And I did in November of last year.
I am a witch with words, but there is no way possible (even artfully) to string words into a sentence that accurately describes what Cernunnos means to me. There is no way to properly express the gratitude, or the joy, or the bittersweetness, or the anticipation and excitement. Today will only be another reminder that there are some things that even I can’t craft on paper; I cannot translate the magnificence or magnitude of the most important god in my life, and I certainly won’t try.
However, a year ago, I did post the story of how we met: the context of my life and why Cernunnos coming into my life was such a powerful, important experience in my life. I used to write on my old blog, The Sinking Roots, which I began after this great experience. I’m reposting it here, like I will do every single year, word for word yet with one exception: the prayer at the end will always change, every year.
This post is already long enough — I put in a “read-more” tag for courtesy since the following post is almost 5000 words.